Saturday 3 November 2007

Welcome To Holland


This "story" was used when we went to the sign-language course in Norway. Coming from Holland takes some of the power away of course, but the mesage was / is clear.
At the time, it was unknown who wrote it, and I'm glad that I found out who did.
(btw... Do a Google on Emily Perl Kingsley and there's lots.. on Wikipedia and this site e.g. )
Here it is...


Welcome To Holland

By Emily Perl Kingsley


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go.

Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... .and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.


©1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved. (Looking for her email to get permission...)


And to finish with another quote:


“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door, that we do not see the one which has been opened.”
Helen Keller


p.s. may 2008 ... I found a follow-up on "Welcome to Holland"... "Celebrating Holland - I'm home"

3 comments:

Laurie said...

Beautifully said. Thank you for sharing!

Angel The Alien said...

I have heard that story used for parents of kids with all different special needs. Some people don't like it. I'm not exactly sure why, but I've heard some people say it makes them feel sick when they hear it! I think its nice though!

Cloggy said...

Hearing parents all go through the 7 (or 5) stages of grief when their child is diagnosed deaf...

I guess part of that has to do with how one looks at the story.

(Some) Milestones

  • 2013-08: Grade 6
  • 2012-08: Grade 5
  • 2011-08: Grade 4
  • 2011-03: BTE's on the ear
  • 2010-08: Grade 3
  • 2009-08: Grade 2
  • 2008-08: Mainstream School (6y. old)
  • 2006-10: All-hearing Kindergarten (4y. old)
  • 2004-11-22: CI activated (27 m. old)
  • 2004-10-04: Bi-lateral CI (26 m. old)
  • 2003-08: Deaf/HOH/CI Pre-school/"DEAF" Kindergarten (12m. old)
  • 2003-07: HA's fitted (11 m. old)
  • 2003-06: Diagnosed deaf. Start sign-language (10m. old)
  • 2002-11: Suspicion loss of hearing (4 m. old)
  • 2002-08: Born - A fierce LION
--- Google Analytics