For the teachers out there... :-)

http://www.medicine.iu.edu/documents/Otolaryngology/Medel.pdf

"I have to talk to you.."

Problem....??
Early this morning, a recurring subject came up again.
Sanne, Lotte's sister, same school, 3 classes ahead, complained that Lotte was playing with her and her friends, and not with her own friends...
Lotte was confronted with this, and said that sometimes the girls from her class told her she could not play with them...
Ouch...!!! that hurt.... so we contacted the teacher and asked her to check out the situation..

Several things are happening.
One thing is that Sanne is visiting Lotte's class as well. Paying a social visit, but obviously Lotte can do the same. So we had a little talk to Sanne and agreed that she would not visit Lotte's class for the time being.
Lotte was also confronted with her behavior of going to Sanne to play and leaving her own friends behind.
We called Lotte: "Lotte, come here, I have to talk to you.."
She was told that she shouldn't do this any more. Lotte listened, repeated, and went straight out the door to the trampoline..
A bit later she came in again, and said to her mother: "Mummy, I have to talk to you....
Why can I not play with Sanne??"
We gave the sophisticated answer "Because the teacher had said so..." (More authority than we.. :-) )
"Oh... OK" was the reply... and life continued...

Another thing that was observed is that actually kids did ask her to play, but Lotte chose not to participate..
This can have different reasons. Perhaps she really doesn't want to play with them, but more likely, she anticipated that she will not be able to follow the games the children play and therefore doesn't start..
With the delay she has - cognitive - I can imagine that this creates a problem sometimes. A lot of things that are second nature to those children are new to Lotte. And it will take time before that gap is closed.. She will catch up but it will take time....

Patience - I guess...

Survival

.... techniques.... She has so many of them.
Lipreading is well-established, but I have a feeling there's not that much relying on it. She hears well and is more able to understand sentences... Without CI on she will use it, and will still amaze us with how well she can lipread.

Last week I saw another survival technique that we know for long, and avoid automatically..
The speech therapist asked Lotte this question "Lotte, after school, do you go home by yourself, or will daddy or mommy pick you up.?"
Alarm-bells rang with me... Too long a sentence.... Lotte wouldn't get it.. I kept quiet.. since Lotte sometimes has a way to surprise us.
Lotte looked as if she was thinking..... and then said "Yes".
The speech-therapist interpreted the answer... "So your walk home alone".... and Lotte said "Yes".
She really didn't get the question. It was too long, too complicated, so by answering "Yes" she made the adult happy, and as far as Lotte goes she got the right answer. (btw... It was the wrong answer, she never walks home alone.)
But it shows how she sometimes survives.. and people should be careful with how they ask questions...

Sort of the same in the classroom. The teachers are very good and Lotte is doing very well. They look at the children when they speak (Not to the blackboard) and there are more things that help Lotte. And the rest of the class.
One is that a message given to the class, is repeated to Lotte. To make sure she understands what's ahead.
Normally, Lotte will closely look at the other children and figure out what to do, but sometimes extra guidance is needed.
I told them that they should NOT repeat the message to Lotte personally. In no time she will ignore the first message to the classroom. After all, why bother when you know it's going to be repeated just for you.
I suggested to the teacher that she would not repeat it, but that she would ask Lotte what just had been said. That way Lotte will focus on the first message in order to make sure she can repeat what has been said..

In all, these survival skills are OK. I guess we use them as well at times...
But for Lotte it's important that she learns to listen well... So, at times we let it slip, being aware how much she does and does not understand, at times we make sure that she gets it.

But also the people around her should be aware of all of Lotte's survival skills..

Drawings and numbers..

Parents will identify with this...
It looks as if nothing happens, and suddenly you notice the change. Actually, you don't notice the change. You remember suddenly that something is completely changed since a while ago.
When it happened, how..... you have no clue when it happened, but it's there..

We noticed it with drawings. Suddenly the pictures she made had changed. She even started copying drawings. She chose a DVD of "Mamma Mia" and started drawing the arch and the person underneath it. Amazing. New!!
But other pictures have evolved as well. More structure, copying, or redrawing the same figures.

And numbers are the thing now. She knows them, counts happily to 100, and at school they are counting money. Adding a bit, changing 10 into smaller pieces like 5's and 1's.
Then then we thought to make her remember our telephone number. 8 digits...
Actually, the cellphone of Mouse. Estimated time to make her remember, 3 days....
So, we wrote down the number.... she dialled.. well, pressed the keys, and "bliss" the mobile phone rang.. Magic.
DId it again.. Fun game. And another time.. Lotte liked
Actual time to remember it... 5 minutes.... She's good!! All this was before she went to school.... She still remembered it when she came home from school.. Photografic memory?
Next day the home number was established... We'll leave it at that for now..

All in all it demonstrates again the importance of Lotte going to school. Even though she is still behind in some social things, the learning at school is helping her with catching up.

Surprise.

Well, Lotte finally had her first session with the new speech therapist.

2 years ago.... this was a huge problem. Lotte refused to cooperate with the new person in the kindergarten, and we had to sit in in order to have some progress. Took about 4 months for her to soften to her.

This time... Bliss.... No problemo.

Lotte was totally at ease, chatting away, had lots to tell....

She amazed the therapist, and her mother as well, with her speech. Yes, also her mother. She was there and realised how much Lotte had developed her Norwegian. (For those just checking in.. at home we use Dutch, but obviously, at school, the children are immersed in Norwegian)

We normally don't notice, and even so, the changes are from day to day. Quite subtile, until one is confronted with it.

Games were played, and when Lotte needed to count something, she counted in English.. Another surprise for the therapist.. She asked if Lotte knew any English songs... - No problem.

It went very well, exceptionally well probably, and for the next time there will be more difficult puzzles and games I guess....

Our little fierce lion conquered another heart.

Everyday miracles....

Terrible. The last update has been so long ago... as if nothing happens any more.

Far from it. We are just terrible with writing it down.

OK... here we go...

School is going great. Lotte is enjoying it full blast. And as a milestone I can add that yesterday she was allowed to go home by herself for the very first time. She has been wanting this for so long, and finally she did. First question when she got home.... "Can I go to school tomorrow by myself?"... and of course she can.  It's part of her "I'm a big girl now" identity.

So, this morning, she was dressed in record time. Like - everything on, all correct, which normally takes 10 minutes -, to go to school first, and at the same time preventing that her sister would join her. This was HER day..

Just for the record, going to (and from) school was never a problem, but she just walked either 10 metres in front. or behind us. Making sure she technically (in her little head) was walking alone. Not much fun for us.. bringing her, or picking her up....

Otherwise... she started the music class. She really wanted that (as posted before) and loves it. Her singing improved a bit. She does have trouble remembering the songs, but some of them do stick. And now, with Christmas there's so much singing. She want's to do them all. Just recently we noticed that she started to sing in perfect tune now and then. Meaning... she can recognise the pitch, and re

peat it.. YES!!! Little miracles day in day out.. 

Almost forgot... we introduced the "ears" day. In November we went out for diner to celebrate that Lotte started to hear 4 years ago... we're now in year#5... 

It was great to put the focus on it, because it is not just for Lotte, it is for all of us that we enjoy the fact that she can hear. Our little family of 5, but also extended to the rest of the family and friends. We all benefitted from it.

What else..... 

going to friends houses is no problem any more. We had the "first time she is picked up by the parent of a friend" day... No problem.. Inviting friends over, no problem. Chatting away with them... no problem. The children in her class know her now, and she is as fully integrated as can be. She has her problems with making herself understood at times, and there are things she has trouble with, but there are other thing where she excells. Just like any other child.

There is still a lot to learn, and a lot of catching up to do, but it is going very well. In her tempo, and at her terms - most of the time..

She is loving the christmas time. Opening the calender every day, the sweets, the singing

, the presents that are coming (she's sure about that).

Totally geared when we looked for the tree in the forrest.... again 3 weeks later when we went there to cut it down and bring it home. Was close to devistated that there would only be 1 christmas-tree in the house. (We would have 1 big one for us all, and 1 small one for the children..) and got totally excited when suddenly a little christmastree did appear. Couldn't wait to put all the self-made stuff in it. (the main reason for having a childrens tree..)

There's lot's more, and I will add later on, but for now I just want to wish you all a

Merry christmas, and a wonderful 2009... with even more everyday miracles.

Time for an update.

Well... it just goes fast.... learning to read and write, drawing has exploded.. From stars and hearts, she's now drawing towns, cars, and this morning a carwash with lots of stuff around it. Signs which way to go in, cars that have to wait. A store next door, the road, pavement. Everything she learned recently and some time ago is now integrated in new drawings.

She loves to go to school. Actually, she wants to go by herself. Seeing herself as a "big girl" she knows she can do this. We feel differently, so we have to compromise.
She is allowed to walk by herself.... with her sister.... Not a popular option for Lotte.
Sometimes she is allowed to walk the last 100 meters.. That option is popular. She starts demanding to be "released" from the car, and after a kiss, off she goes. To school alone.
She makes sure we pass her, (..driving behind her is definitely not allowed) and 2 minutes later she arrives.... she did it HER way... Have to admire the little lion.!

Some time ago, I allowed her to go by herself. Kept her sister in the house a bit longer, so she would not catch up with Lotte, but she did anyway.
Lotte was deeply offended. Turned around, and came back home to tell me that "She wanted to go to school by HERSELF.!!"
So.. told her to go asap, otherwise she would be late... and off she went..

Don't mess with these little lions.!

Music school

"I want to go to the music-school"... Lotte said..
My wife wasn't sure she heard it correctly, so ask Lotte what she said..
"I want to go to the music-school" ..not so loud and clear. (We are working on talking with a soft voice..)
Many of the children in her class are signed up for this. Playing with instruments, singing. All in order to create a basis for music.
Still not sure if Lotte understood what happened in the music-class, my wife asked her "What do they do ther.?.
"Singing" Lotte replied. She is totally aware what's happening there, and wants to be part of it. (We're not really surprised.)

Of course she will go there. She loves singing and playing on her piano. She sees her brother playing guitar and her sister sings in a choir. Of course she must follow.

We never signed her up because we wanted to see how she would handle the transition from kindergarten to school.
As said before, that went without a problem. (Seems it happened overnight..) so there's no reason to keep her away from the music class. Just have to prepare the music-teacher about Lotte.)

So, another milestone. Our deaf daughter wants to make music.
And it is very touching to see her sing along with the music. It goes too fast for her most of the times, but now and again she suddenly hits the right note.
It's wonderful....
Still... lots of work to do in that area.!..

..." The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades "

Lotte is doing very well at school. She enjoys going there, staying there. Dropping her off does not require any more crying from her side. She happily goes in by herself.... "Bye-bye mummy.!" to indicate that she goes into the classroom. Progress!

Something that was clear from the beginning is that she is treating school as a totally new phase. She is taking liberties that she wouldn't have 2 months ago.. all because " .. she's a big girl now.. ".
For us it's sometimes a problem drawing the line. We want to let her take more control, but she didn't "grow" as much as she thinks.
So, we are steering that new feeling of self-confidence carefully, making sure it is not bruised.
But we see that she uses it herself in order to cope with situations.
Like when the children were called to the stage on the first day. (See earlier post.) With all the children up there without parents, she took that feeling of self confidence and went up the stage to be with the other children. Something she would not have done before, but that day, SHE made it happen! WOW!.

She loves her teachers (yes... multiple.. life is good in Norway.), getting to know the children, playing with them.... just as it should be.

Obviously there are indications that there is still much to do.
Copying the other children is a very obvious one. It's inevitable, but also a good indicator that she does not understand everything. Important for us and the teachers to realize that, and take action when needed.

We also warned the teachers that answering correctly to a question does not mean Lotte understood the question. Let's be realistic... guess what the correct answer is to a question that ends with "... don't you think so..?" or "... you shouldn't do that, should you.?".
Lotte - and I'm sure many other children - will sometime just answer the question in the way that is expected, just to be done with it.
"No need to understand, just give the right answer." is sometimes the motto... ;-)

She is getting better with the songs that are sung at the start of the day. Repetition is the key word of course, and it is obvious that Lotte needs to hear it more often that the other kids. But fortunately, the same songs are still being sung at the beginning of the day. Changing to another song would mean Lotte would have to start again from scratch. But actually, that's part of life. We cannot expect that the children sing the same song for 6 weeks until Lotte can do it as well. That's up to us, to sing that song at home.

In a way, being Dutch at home and Norwegian outside reduces the amount of Norwegian children-songs sung by us. Many we don't know - we used the Dutch ones, but we realize that we need to speak more Norwegian with Lotte at home. When she's doing homework, it's better at times to use Norwegian. It's good to have Lotte connect Norwegian with school and Dutch with home.

But it's very important that people around her that look at her with the right focus, report the positive AND the negative, and act accordingly. That's one of the most important things to ensure the best possible outcome.
And the school is totally committed to that. Having that support is very, very important and we feel blessed with this.

English lessons!

School started for Lotte with English homework already from the second week.
Kids with cochlear implants tend to have problems with their working memory, due to a lack of language interactions at an early age. That means that new words usually do not linger after hearing it once. It has to be repeated many times. I actually compare it with a computer hard disc that is not yet formatted.

Well, formatting for Lotte has begun. Can't remember how many times we now have counted from 1 to 10 in English, but she thinks it's great fun, she understands what it means (probably because of her own understanding of two languages, that the same thing can have different names). Saying "three" is probably difficult for all children, but the lack of two front teeth really doesn't help! Otherwise she seems to pick it up, and remembers more quickly now (after a week) what the numbers are called.

Until now she thinks it is a great game, so we hope it will continue that way :-)

--- Mous ---

And to all readers out there.... just be patient.... Lotte will one day start writing to you all...
How cool would that be !!
--- Cloggy ---

Slipping Through My Fingers

Well,
Yesterday we went to the movie "Mamma Mia" - with all the ABBA songs.
Great movie, can recommend it.
Almost all the songs were known to both of us, except two.
This one was one that we didn't knew... and while listning to it we both had to make sure not to look at each other... we forgot to bring tissues :-)

But, it's amazing how a song suddenly can come so close to your life....


Slipping Through My Fingers (ABBA - The Visitors - 1981)

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I'm losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(Slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile

Original version here and here or ...

OO

Homework..

Lotte is doing well at school.
Still not eager to go into the classroom by herself, but a good 10-second cry to ensure she knows that we know that she misses us is enough.
Singing is not easy, as expected. Remembering the words is difficult for her. But otherwise it is going well. Also thanks to the great job the teachers are doing.

Also, no holding back from the school's side. Straight away there's homework.
Even an English song that has to be learned. (1 little, 2 little, 3 little, Indians.. ) That's too difficult at the moment, but it shows us to practice the new rhymes, songs and new words.

But she loves going to school, loves coming home. She enjoys seeing her brother and sister there, and when possible playing with them.

There's a lot to do, but with the way things are going now, with the support from the school and the teachers we can see it is going to be a wonderful journey..